The other day something very rare happened in my life..my dad read me a story.
Ok..I'm turning 23 this year and 23 year old person doesn't get any bedtime story from their dad's anymore. It was very surreal moment in my life and I will remember and cherish till the day I die.
It started very casual..my dad was giving me his usual 'life' lectures and started talking about the things I should read (ie my course books...to study for sure). He knows I love to read cuz I would ask him for money to buy books or mags. Anyways..then the conversation topic turned to the book he is currently reading studying since he is doing JUSA course (for those out there who don't know what JUSA course is..its the government's way to torture their 'servants' into getting a promotion and upgrade their 'grade'..yeah..its confusing..but whatev..). In this course, they made the participant read this book called "The Iceberg is Melting" by John Kotter. Eventhough the title is misleading but its actually a management book disguised as a fable. Basically the story is about a penguin named Fred who on his heroic lonesome, is trying to convince his fellow penguins that their home is about to melt. Very cute actually. As we were moving from the dining room to the living room, my dad had me plonked myself next to him and he began to read. He chose the chapter where he stopped and as he was reading..at first I was like "oh great..he's trying to teach me a lesson by reading me a penguin story" and I started to figit under the table. And then as he flipped pages..I was like "this is fun". He at times needed me to explain what was some of the metaphoric meanings in the book (which I thought was cute..) and some of the words he didn't understand. I thought he would be finishing that one chapter but then he continued reading until he almost finished the book..he even started at the beginning of the book so I wouldn't be lost. I thought at the moment.."Wow..my dad and I are having a father-daughter bonding time". I felt touched and I knew it wasn't his intention to read it to me like a story book but it felt special. I felt 5 again. He never read to me when I was little but at least I can look back at that moment and say "My dad did read me a bedtime story (I say its bedtime cuz it was late and we were about to sleep).
Our relationship was a rocky one. In the beginning, he was home yet he and my mom would argue a lot and I use to think of him as the bad guy. And then as I approached my teen years..he was barely there. During my first few years in college, he confided in me and told me he had another woman in his life which eventually had me follow him to go see her in Pahang. After that incident..things between me and him just went down hill. I guess now I feel that we're doing better.
My dad is a very private quiet yet egoistical man. He doesn't say much but when he does..he talks about meaningful things and during this time I like him the best. Some kids can't stand their parents lecture but I relish this moment cuz you never know what past stories he will tell. It kind helps me see the real side of him and not that Darth Vader creepiness he projects. And the one thing I can't stand looking at my dad is when he cries. It's just a heartbreaking thing to see. He cries only on really sad moments like when my grandma died or when my sister, Leena was flying off to the states to finish her degree..basically important moments..that's when he gets emotional.
My dad is one person who I know can never be replaced. A man on his own who I admire and respect the most and he is the living proof of that perserverance will take you a long way.
My siblings like to say that I'm 'Abah's girl' and eventhough sometimes I loathe that title but it makes me feel special.It may seem like an Electra Complex but I do realize I'm more on my Dad side than my Mom's. (I do love them equally..but yeah..)
Ok..I'm turning 23 this year and 23 year old person doesn't get any bedtime story from their dad's anymore. It was very surreal moment in my life and I will remember and cherish till the day I die.
It started very casual..my dad was giving me his usual 'life' lectures and started talking about the things I should read (ie my course books...to study for sure). He knows I love to read cuz I would ask him for money to buy books or mags. Anyways..then the conversation topic turned to the book he is currently reading studying since he is doing JUSA course (for those out there who don't know what JUSA course is..its the government's way to torture their 'servants' into getting a promotion and upgrade their 'grade'..yeah..its confusing..but whatev..). In this course, they made the participant read this book called "The Iceberg is Melting" by John Kotter. Eventhough the title is misleading but its actually a management book disguised as a fable. Basically the story is about a penguin named Fred who on his heroic lonesome, is trying to convince his fellow penguins that their home is about to melt. Very cute actually. As we were moving from the dining room to the living room, my dad had me plonked myself next to him and he began to read. He chose the chapter where he stopped and as he was reading..at first I was like "oh great..he's trying to teach me a lesson by reading me a penguin story" and I started to figit under the table. And then as he flipped pages..I was like "this is fun". He at times needed me to explain what was some of the metaphoric meanings in the book (which I thought was cute..) and some of the words he didn't understand. I thought he would be finishing that one chapter but then he continued reading until he almost finished the book..he even started at the beginning of the book so I wouldn't be lost. I thought at the moment.."Wow..my dad and I are having a father-daughter bonding time". I felt touched and I knew it wasn't his intention to read it to me like a story book but it felt special. I felt 5 again. He never read to me when I was little but at least I can look back at that moment and say "My dad did read me a bedtime story (I say its bedtime cuz it was late and we were about to sleep).
Our relationship was a rocky one. In the beginning, he was home yet he and my mom would argue a lot and I use to think of him as the bad guy. And then as I approached my teen years..he was barely there. During my first few years in college, he confided in me and told me he had another woman in his life which eventually had me follow him to go see her in Pahang. After that incident..things between me and him just went down hill. I guess now I feel that we're doing better.
My dad is a very private quiet yet egoistical man. He doesn't say much but when he does..he talks about meaningful things and during this time I like him the best. Some kids can't stand their parents lecture but I relish this moment cuz you never know what past stories he will tell. It kind helps me see the real side of him and not that Darth Vader creepiness he projects. And the one thing I can't stand looking at my dad is when he cries. It's just a heartbreaking thing to see. He cries only on really sad moments like when my grandma died or when my sister, Leena was flying off to the states to finish her degree..basically important moments..that's when he gets emotional.
My dad is one person who I know can never be replaced. A man on his own who I admire and respect the most and he is the living proof of that perserverance will take you a long way.
My siblings like to say that I'm 'Abah's girl' and eventhough sometimes I loathe that title but it makes me feel special.It may seem like an Electra Complex but I do realize I'm more on my Dad side than my Mom's. (I do love them equally..but yeah..)
I love my abah and he is the one man in my heart that can never be replaced.
XoXo
1 comments:
hi alia! :) that was very brave of you being open and vulnerable about this..*hugs* I dedicate this song by Luther Vandross "Dance With My Father" to you..:)
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