When will it be my turn??

Okay..I gotta continue whining for awhile...(well that is what my blog is called so bare with me)

Like I said in my post before, I was at the airport yesterday sending my brother's friend off to UK. Anyways, one thing I hate about the airport is the fact that other people are travelling and not me. I haven't stepped on an aeroplane for almost 10 years. Yes..I know, there are other people out there who has not even been on an aeroplane but like my blog title says, I'm a whiny brat..sue me.

Everytime I'm there, its either picking someone up or sending them off. WTF!!

I sometime offer to help with their baggage just to pretend that I'm a traveller and I have a real purpose being there. Stupid..I know. But it makes me feel better though.

So...i wonder when will it be my turn. Will I be able to travel again? I dunno. I'm hoping for my last year of degree I will be able to continue my studies abroad but that one is uncertain because it will depend on whether I got sponsorship from anyone. : (

Man...I gotta save up some money so I can travel in the near future. My girlfriends and I have discussed that when the whole group is together, we gotta go somewhere far. Hopefully its abroad and not domestic. We'll just wait and see.

XoXo

Distance make the Heart grow fonder??

Its 7.30 in the morning and I have not slept. I'm having such an irritating stomach ache. I dunno what I ate but its getting to me. Damn..these past few months I've been getting constant diarrhea and its annoying. My stomach is getting too sensitive for food. Oh God..I hope not. I love food. If you see me in real life..you'll understand how I got the way I look.

Anyways..that's not what I wanna whine about.

Last night, I followed my younger brother to send his best bud to the airport. I know the friend so that is why I tagged along. Kinda weird to see how my brother and his friend got close because somehow I played a role in them getting close. So it was really fate that step into play.

So as I was standing at the airport looking at my brother's sad face, I realize that I know what he's going through. Couple of my closest friends are or had gone off to UK for studies. It really makes me sad because I hate the fact I can't just call them up to hang or to talk. It will take time and money just to communicate with them which totally sucks. I have another close friend who's family lives on the other side of Malaysia (the Borneo island part) and that sucks as well because I gotta wait for her to come back.

In true 'brat' fashion, I don't want them to leave or stay far away. I prefer them in close proximity. At least half an hour away. Eventhough we all don't hang out everyday but the fact you know they are nearby when you feel like running away from your crazy world, it makes me feel comfortable. I also know that they are away for a purpose, whether it is family or their studies. But c'mon... I hate the distance. I live in Malaysia, do you think it's easy to just jet off to UK whenever I feel like it. First of all, I don't got the moolahs and lastly, the economy is in the crapper so for me to waste my money on travelling, it will just be a dumb move. So how??

I gotta be supportive of them because I love and care for them. And I do have some other close friends still around. But it is much nicer when the whole group is together. Man..I sound like I'm in high school. But you guys get it right? When you all are together, you can do lots of thing without thinking that someone is gonna be missing out.

Anyways, I guess the distance does make the heart grows fonder. I just gotta wait it out.

To my brother, distance friendship is hard, but you gotta remember that if you do love your friend, you will know in your heart that he/she will come back to you.

Continue to whine till the next time.

XoXo

To the man who breaks my heart everytime

You can be such a bastard, yet I love you
You can be cruel and yet I still love you
You can be pig headed and I wanna be with you
You can be a liar and I still wanna be with you

Why?????

I let my heart hurt everytime you say "I can't see you"
I let my voice hurt after I scream at the top of my voice
I let my knees tremble when I do get to see you
I let my eyes tear up when you say goodbye


I hate you for what you've done to me.


I've become cynical
I've become annoying
I've become self righteous
I've become scorned
I've become neurotic
I've become self-conscious

Yet I still love you

And when you said "You don't need to wait for me"

I WILL ALWAYS WAIT FOR YOU....always and forever.

Sometimes I just want to give up everything that I've worked for between us
Because you don't give in
You don't let me in

Sometimes I think I'm better off with someone else
Someone who will love me the way I deserve to be loved
Someone who will love me the way I am

Sometimes I think what would've happen if I didn't say what I've said that night 4 years ago.
Will you and I still be together?
Will you and I be in some sort of rut?
Will you and I be happy now?

Sometimes I wonder.....Are you still worth it?
I defend you when people say you're not
I put a smile on my face and say "I'm okay with him"
When clearly I am not.

Sometimes I wonder..Why am I jealous of those girls who you are close too?
You wanna know why?
Its because I'm afraid of losing you to them.
I'm afraid that one day you realize they are better than me.
I'm afraid you will realize they are the one for you.


Do you know that when I don't hear any news from you, you make me wonder..
"Is he okay?"
"Is he feeling well?"
"Is he safe somewhere?"
"Is he dead?"

If I didn't pick up the phone and make an effort to call, I will probably never know what has happened to you.


I hate feeling this way. And I hate thinking about you this way.

So are you worth it?

The answer is Yes.

I, probably 90% of time, hate your guts but that 10%.....

You make me laugh
You make me smile
You make me stand up for what I believe in
You make me be tough when things get bad
You make me feel safe
You make me feel proud for what I want out of my life
You supported me for whatever decisions I have made, good and bad
but most importantly....
You made me feel wanted and you accepted me for me.
You loved every inched of me
and You never judged me and what my family has gone through.
You endured those nagging calls and those tearful calls.
And you loved me eventhough I've made accusations that you didn't.

I do sometime think that you deserve someone less crazy than me.

But just remember this,

You will never find someone who challenges you
You will never find someone who stands up for you
You will never find someone who stands by you
You will never find someone who will drop everything just to be there for you
And you will never find someone who loves you they way I loved you

So, Mr. Rockstar, in spite of the my anger and disappointment

I will always love you
I will always be there for you
I will always wanna be with you
and I will always wait for you

I will wait for you

So please, let me get glimpses of your heart and soul as I did for you.

I love you

The Passing of a Legend

(January 1925-September 2008)


It saddens me to inform you guys that Paul Newman has passed away yesterday. He was 83 years old.

I'm not his biggest fan but I am an admirer of his efforts outside the Hollywood industry.
A philanthropist, race car enthusiast and all around good guy, you can say that everyone knew who he was even if you haven't watched his movies. Some of you may know him through his movies like the famous cowboy movie "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and some may know him from his food products like Newman's Own Popcorn. From his brand of Newman's Own, the profits will go to various charity. Now..who does that nowadays?? Very little.

Another thing I admirer him for is his marriage to Joanne Woodward, another Hollywood actress. Eventhough he was married before, but his marriage to her lasted 50 years!!!! Hello.. in Hollywood, marriage means nothing but he manages to stand by her side till his death. Another feat in Hollywood. I can only imagine what Mrs. Newman is feeling right now. Gosh.. too heartbreaking to think. The Tinseltown resident should live by these words said by 'Butch' about his marriage to Joanne Woodward, "Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?". Get that?? Love that quote.

Anyways..Hollywood lost its, probably, one of the last great actors ever. He will be sorely missed.


I think I'm going to cry this coming Academy Awards when they show the memoriam montage.
: (

Till the next post..adios.

Out with the Old..In with the New

FINALLY!!!!!

I have slaved my fingers and brain into figuring this world of xml and html and all that crap and it is finally here...MY NEW LAYOUT... yippeee

YOU LIKE????

Well I like it. It kinda sets the mood of total thinking mode and a little mystery. I had another template in mind but that went to the crapper. Oh well...maybe one day when I can master the fine art of xml and all that, maybe I will use that other one. In the mean time...feast your eyes on my new blog.

Another change I made is the title and my web address. I was thinking what will be a suitable title to use to have people be more intrigued and here is the list of choices I made:

1- Fashion Slave- since I love clothes, thought the blog can be more focused on fashion.
2-Mrs. Wentworth Miller- I love the man..'nuf said.
3-Fikiran Melampau- It means "Exaggerated Thoughts" (i think) in Malay
4-Mental Masturbation- For you dirty people out there, this is not a pornographic term as it seems. This term basically means a mind that over thinks.
5-Vintage Voice- I'm very vintage, bohemian inspired person. Whether it has to do with the clothes I wear or the stuff I used, I like to feel old-worldly.

and many more...

What made me choose "The Whiny Brat" is because it is a honest term for me. Yes, I'm whiny and I am a brat. But who gives a shit. At least I'm aware of it and know how step out of my comfort zone. (woahhh...a little too deep there)

So there you have it folks..My new Blog and its new url: http://www.thewhinybrat.blogspot.com. Hopefully after this I'll be more inspired to write and update you guys more. So do visit more often okay...

Till the next post..adios!!!

Wait for it!!!!!!

Hello reader...

As it is obvious, its been moooooooooooonnnths since i've blogged. Too many has happened and to many reasons why I haven't blogged.

Well...now I'll start a policy where..when I feel like blogging..I'll blog. But I won't deprive you people too long ( as if there is many of you out there who will read this : P ). Cuz seriously, what's the point of having a blog when you don't type anything.

Anyway..now I'm planning to revamp this blog to capture more readers so like my title says.. wait for it. Still shopping around for a good background and widgets to add to my page. Got one but this bloody blogger editing thingy is giving me headache. Therefore..you guys gotta wait. Okay?

Peace out.

Check you guys later.